If you feel invisible, I see you and I love you. If you are afraid, remember that courage is not the absence of fear, but standing strong against it. You can do it, and I love you. If you are ...
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Growing up in the rural West, I can’t tell you how many times I heard jokes about Californians, “city folks,” and “back East,” as though people who lived in Cali or east of the Mississippi River were basically clueless idiots ...
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This may not be the most warm and fuzzy thing to talk about this time of year. But our refusal to talk about it only makes the situation that much more difficult for those who are struggling. We have to ...
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Okay, guys. We need to have a talk. I’ve discussed this before, and really… It’s so important. You’ve got to stop believing everything the Media tells you. This is the first post in a two-part series on narrowing the urban/rural ...
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No other topic that I’ve written about has resonated with readers as much as when I talk about God. Why is this? Are we all so hungry for meaning? I think perhaps yes. I’m tired of the rule that we ...
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The tricky thing about gossip is that it’s hard to define. When does genuine caring and concern turn into gossip? What about venting? We all need to get things off our chest, right? Because it is so amorphous, gossip is ...
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When I say love isn’t supposed to always be warm and fuzzy, what do I mean? Before I can answer this question, I have to explain what love is not. Love Is Not… Cruel.Abusive.Manipulative.Lying. Love may not always be warm ...
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As my kids gear up for back to school, I can’t help but wonder how they will look back at their childhoods, the time and place in which they were raised, their family experience, and the impact their culture has ...
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In order to understand the big picture of Redefining Love, we must learn that institutions can be just as toxic as individual relationships. Just as family systems can be rife with dysfunction that developed over generations, so too can larger ...
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One of the personality traits that I struggle to forgive the most is snobbery, in myself as well as others. I used to live with the illusion that I was immune from this particular sin. (This kind of arrogance is ...
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During my twenties I wore my struggles like a badge of honor. I sported the Plight of the Everyman as a chip on my shoulder, suffering fools with the notion that because I’d experienced hardship and seen the dark side ...
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The check engine light on my dashboard is broken. It comes on randomly, then shuts off again whenever the mood strikes it, rendering it useless. The first time it happened, I rushed my car to the mechanic, only to be ...
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I’m not sure from what well people are drawing their ‘f’ words. I drained that sucker dry in the 90’s. I elevated the use of the ‘f’ word to new heights of artistry. I could answer yes or no questions ...
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I have tiptoed hesitantly into social media over the years. I have accounts at the big four… Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter. I’m most active on Facebook and Instagram. My Pinterest is okay. My Twitter is embarrassing, honestly. I just ...
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When my therapist first introduced the idea of parenting myself, I thought I had that nailed down. Since both my parents had been checked out in one way or another during my childhood, I’d been doing that my entire life ...
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I know it’s trendy right now to get organized. I know that’s a thing. But I’ve never been very good at following trends, so let me challenge that for a minute. Let me tell you how I used to be ...
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At first glance my atheist followers may think this post is not for them. But if you are a student of Redefining Love, then you know you have a responsibility to learn to speak the language of those with whom ...
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I’ve always been a thinker of big thoughts. I’m not a fan of physical risk, like sky diving. I like to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. My thoughts, on the other hand… they go a mile a ...
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We are very confused about good and evil. We have been brainwashed by extremists to believe that anyone who disagrees with us is evil. And this isn’t just a liberal problem, or a conservative problem. This is an everyone problem ...
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Recently I was watching the fantastic Bruce Springsteen on Broadway Netflix special and one line above all else spoke to me: “We are ghosts or we are ancestors in our own children’s lives.” I scrambled for a piece of paper ...
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I ran a column in two small town Montana newspapers from 2008 to 2016, the Lewistown News-Argus and the Sidney Herald. These two papers were incredibly generous to me. They allowed me to write on just about any topic I chose, with ...
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Accountability is a tough one. It borders that very fine line between victim blaming and owning your own stuff. But it is so, so, so important. We can’t shy away from it simply because it is uncomfortable or confusing. When ...
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Those left behind When someone walks away from a family of origin relationship, it’s so easy to blame them. They must have “issues.” Often, the person they left behind has quite a lot to say about it to explain their ...
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In case you’re wondering what voting has to do with Redefined Love… Well, everything. Redefined Love is about interconnectedness. It is about how you are connected to your most intimate self, and outward then to your family of origin, romantic ...
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Never more than the last few weeks have I pondered how to apply Redefined Love to these painfully divisive times. How do I even deal with it within myself? Certainly I have my own opinions on the matter. Do I ...
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I am not a mom blogger. But I do happen to be in this season of life, so I have a lot of material on the subject right now. I live Redefined Love every day. And I don’t say that ...
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I was raised on a steady diet of old-school, flag waving, star spangled patriotism. Ronald Reagan was the president of my childhood. I didn’t know a thing about his politics. I only knew that he had a kind face, an ...
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My website went live in April, and yet here it is almost July and I’ve only written two blog posts. I wish I could tell you this is a rookie mistake, or that it was too much to expect myself ...
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Mother’s Day is an amazing opportunity to honor and recognize the women who work day-in and day-out to keep a family system running smoothly. So often this effort is underappreciated. Most mothers deserve far more recognition than they receive. But ...
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One woman's journey to Redefine Love Love is, in many ways, still a raw, open wound for me. It has taken years for me to build up the courage to lay all of this out like this, for the world ...
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