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When I say love isn’t supposed to always be warm and fuzzy, what do I mean? Before I can answer this question, I have to explain what love is not. Love Is Not… Cruel.Abusive.Manipulative.Lying. Love may not always be warm and fuzzy, but it is decidedly none of the above things. But does love hurt? Can our love actually hurt someone? […]

As my kids gear up for back to school, I can’t help but wonder how they will look back at their childhoods, the time and place in which they were raised, their family experience, and the impact their culture has on their growing hearts and minds. How did we get here? I can’t pretend to be perfect.

In order to understand the big picture of Redefining Love, we must learn that institutions can be just as toxic as individual relationships. Just as family systems can be rife with dysfunction that developed over generations, so too can larger systems within our society. Entire religions, governments, political parties, corporations, education institutions, and sectors of the economy can be toxic. After

One of the personality traits that I struggle to forgive the most is snobbery, in myself as well as others. I used to live with the illusion that I was immune from this particular sin. (This kind of arrogance is the first sign that you need to get real.) Judgement is the universal sin Back

During my twenties I wore my struggles like a badge of honor. I sported the Plight of the Everyman as a chip on my shoulder, suffering fools with the notion that because I’d experienced hardship and seen the dark side of humanity, I could relate to other people’s trauma, however far removed from it I

The check engine light on my dashboard is broken. It comes on randomly, then shuts off again whenever the mood strikes it, rendering it useless. The first time it happened, I rushed my car to the mechanic, only to be told that it’s a wiring issue that will cost $800 to fix. My car runs

I have tiptoed hesitantly into social media over the years. I have accounts at the big four… Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter. I’m most active on Facebook and Instagram. My Pinterest is okay. My Twitter is embarrassing, honestly. I just can’t seem to master brevity. Imagine that. Even on those platforms that I use most

When my therapist first introduced the idea of parenting myself, I thought I had that nailed down. Since both my parents had been checked out in one way or another during my childhood, I’d been doing that my entire life anyway. What I came to realize, though, was that the coping skills I’d developed to

What do you need? I know it’s trendy right now to get organized. I know that’s a thing. But I’ve never been very good at following trends, so let me challenge that for a minute. Let me tell you how I used to be. I used to think I had all the answers. I used

A Manifesto on Faith At first glance my atheist followers may think this post is not for them. But if you are a student of Redefining Love, then you know you have a responsibility to learn to speak the language of those with whom you disagree. So before you stop reading, hear me out. You may be