I can’t remember exactly when I started it, but at some point in the past five years, I became aware just how often we rely on violent metaphors in our everyday language. We “fight the good fight,” “kick cancer’s ass,” and “conquer our fears.”
When I decided to challenge myself to remove violent imagery from my vocabulary, I was shocked to discover how challenging it was! Even after several years of intention, I still slip easily into it. And, because Boundaries, Accountability, and Grace is kind of my thing, I don’t beat myself up when it happens… Wait… Beat myself up?! There I go again!
I’m not saying it’s never appropriate to use violent imagery to get a point across. I’m not militant about it (see what I did there!). But I do think it’s a worthwhile experiment to bring intention to just how normalized violence is in our everyday lives. Most of us can agree that peace is a far better alternative to violence. So why not give a more peaceful approach to language a good ol’ fashioned try?
I asked ChatGPT to provide a list of non-violent alternatives to some of our most commonly used violent phrases. Here is what she came back with (yes, my ChatGPT is female):
Fight the good fight → Live your values
Conquer your fears → Overcome your fears
Beat yourself up → Be gentle with yourself
Fighting an uphill battle → The struggle is real
On the front lines → At the forefront
In the trenches → Embracing the challenge
Waging war on [X] → Working to heal [X]
Battleground → Crossroads
Taking fire → Weathering the storm
Collateral damage → The human cost
Defend your position → Stand firm in your truth
Enemy territory → Unfamiliar ground
Guerilla tactics → Creative pivots
Bombarded with questions → Flooded with questions
Bullet points → Highlights, Stepping stones
Pull the trigger → Ready, set, GO!
Dodging bullets → Narrowly escape disaster
Fight tooth and nail → Pour your whole heart in
Arm yourself with knowledge → Walk with wisdom
Silent weapon → Quiet strength
A silver bullet → A clear path forward
Backfire → Didn’t go the way I’d planned
Blowing up → Outraged
Explosive argument → Serious disagreement
Under attack → Feeling the pressure
Target audience → Intended audience
Shot in the dark → This is the last chance
Last ditch effort → Final attempt
Triggered → Dysregulated
Honestly, some of these on the list I hadn’t even realized contained violent imagery! “Triggered!” I use that literally all the time, multiple times per day. Content trigger warnings are a crucial part of my coaching practice. Yes, I can rename it. But changing language is hard! It’s not going to happen overnight, and I don’t want to trigger people because they didn’t recognize they were being warned.
And so, I’m not rejecting violent language entirely. But, for those of us who truly want to be the good we hope to see in the world, it’s worthwhile to consider just how much violence exists in our day-to-day conversation.
Intention and curiosity are two key concepts in Redefining Love. Reducing violent imagery in our speech is just one more way of approaching life with greater intention. Every time we get curious about the words we use, we generate a tiny ripple towards a more peaceful world, for all of us.
What about you? Can you think of any more violent imagery in our language that could be replaced by something more peaceful?
Want more Redefining Love?
Are you interested in learning more about Redefining Love? Read the book! Listen to the TEDx Talk! Attend a workshop! Or explore 1-1 coaching with Redefining Love Founder Sara Beth Wald.
Related Links:
How we get trapped in toxic circumstances
The Three Pillars
Boundaries
Accountability
Grace
What is Redefining Love?