My mantra: ❤x3 

I have a mantra that I whisper to myself when I’m finding it hard to love myself or someone else. Sometimes I say it out loud, and sometimes I just repeat it inside my own head. It’s very simple, but highly effective.

I repeat, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” I might say it over and over again. But I always say “I love you” at least three times. I find saying it three times really solidifies it into my mind. It’s usually enough to shift my focus from an angry, defensive stance to a more peaceful position. It forces me to be intentional with my interaction.

I call it lovex3.

Take the lovex3 challenge

Once I started sharing this quirky habit with others, I discovered that other positive people also do something similar. It really does work!

I encourage you to take the lovex3 challenge. Whisper the mantra the next time you feel your blood pressure start to rise in an argument. Let your kids hear you whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you,” the next time you are cut off in traffic (its far better than the words I used to use while driving!). Hear the mantra inside your head while you are listening to that political figure you can’t stand giving a speech on the news.

Lovex3 is not an exact science. It’s not a science at all! It’s a mindset, a journey, a character goal. It’s not a quick fix. It’s not a magic ticket to world peace.

Lovex3 is not passive. It takes hard work and conscious effort and time and attention. Like everything else about redefining love, it’s a process, and we’re all in it together.

It’s ok if you fail. I’m failing at it as I’m writing this! I have relationships that are actively broken, people in my life who would read this and wave their hands and say, “Hold on! Where’s my lovex3?” This is in part because they have not redefined love and thus view love differently than me. But it’s also partially because I have yet to master it myself.

Let’s start a movement!

Every time someone commits to taking his or her life back from hate, starting from within and working outward, love wins.

Every time someone takes accountability for their own behavior and relationships, love wins.

Every time someone sets healthy boundaries for themselves and respects others’ boundaries, love wins.

Every time someone chooses to define love for themselves rather than taking culture’s word for it, love wins.

Every time someone escapes a Shame Cycle and lives a life true to themselves, love wins.

Every time love wins, someone else is learning how they might redefine love for themselves.

Redefined love is contagious. ❤x3. Learn it, then pass it on!