Trauma tricks us into believing that everything is black and white, right or wrong, us versus them. This is our survival instinct kicking in. When our only options to conflict are fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, we become reactive. This may have worked well in prehistoric times, when our biggest conflict was eat or be […]
Compassion in conflict: Making peace with but/and Read More »
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”-John Lennon Oh, boy. In the coaching industry I hear these phrases all the time: “Time to move on.” “Don’t look back. Look forward!” “You’re stuck in the past!” “Your future is ahead of you!” All this stuff sounds so encouraging and enticing. Who doesn’t want
The difference between moving on and moving through Read More »
Self-love, self-care, you are enough, love yourself first… These are trendy phrases seen everywhere these days, to the point that they might lose their meaning and feel unattainable to those of us trying to do all the things. It’s hard to feel like “You are enough” when you’re dropping plates left and right! And at
Balancing love for yourself with love for others Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. This is our fourth and final segment of the four-part series titled It’s
Spiritual Abuse and Redefining Love Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. This is our third session in our four-part series It’s Not Personal. Our
Sexual Abuse and Redefining Love Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. Last week we began our four-part session titled It’s Not Personal. Here’s a
Physical Abuse and Redefining Love Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. Perhaps the most deeply damaging part of trauma is the sense of worthlessness
It feels personal, but it’s not Read More »
When I searched online for a definition of discernment, I found two definitions; a secular – meaning “the ability to judge well,” and a spiritual – meaning “perception of judgement with a view of obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding.” Discernment might be called “intuition” or “trusting your gut.” It relates to the idea that we
Self-Trust: Trusting Your Own Discernment Read More »
Most of us can agree that accountability is an important part of being a person of integrity. But how do you determine who is accountable for what? A healthy relationship is one in which both individuals behave with integrity. But what does that mean, really? Integrity is when a person lives their life according to
How do I determine who is accountable for what? Read More »
How enabling causes harm to ourselves and others The past two weeks in the Redefining Love Community we talked about accountability for ourselves and others. Thanks to one of our members, I realized there was a key accountability point left to discuss… For many of us, a big roadblock to healthy accountability is the tendency
Accountability as an act of love Read More »
