A safe place to tell your story: A candid discussion about faith

This is a safe place to tell your faith story.
No other topic that I’ve written about has resonated with readers as much as when I talk about God. Why is this? Are we all so hungry for meaning? I think perhaps yes. I’m tired of the rule that we aren’t supposed to talk about religion. Why not? Does it so offend us when someone disagrees with our foundational values that we are unable to listen? Are we truly that inse...
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But love should be easy, right?

When you set boundaries with someone, both people grow.
When I say love isn’t supposed to always be warm and fuzzy, what do I mean? Before I can answer this question, I have to explain what love is not. Love Is Not… Cruel.Abusive.Manipulative.Lying. Love may not always be warm and fuzzy, but it is decidedly none of the above things. But does love hurt? Can our love actually hurt someone? Can someone we love hu...
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The death of grace

Perhaps the most detrimental fallout of an entire generation obsessed with perfection is the death of grace.
As my kids gear up for back to school, I can’t help but wonder how they will look back at their childhoods, the time and place in which they were raised, their family experience, and the impact their culture has on their growing hearts and minds. How did we get here? I can’t pretend to be perfect. I actually tried that for a really long time. It didn’t work. Her...
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Surround yourself with those going in your direction

If you want to reach your goals, you've got to get around people that are going in the same direction you want to be going.
I’ve always been a thinker of big thoughts. I’m not a fan of physical risk, like sky diving. I like to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. My thoughts, on the other hand… they go a mile a minute, and they are sky high. I like fantastical ideas, big dreams, and audacious creativity. Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up in a family that encouraged that kind of thin...
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Not everyone who disagrees with you is evil

Not everyone who disagrees with you is evil.
We are very confused about good and evil. We have been brainwashed by extremists to believe that anyone who disagrees with us is evil. And this isn’t just a liberal problem, or a conservative problem. This is an everyone problem. Both sides do it in equal measure. Here is the truth: NOT EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH YOU IS EVIL. Yes, there is evil in the world. But a ...
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Ghosts or ancestors

We are all ghosts or we are ancestors in our own children's lives.
Recently I was watching the fantastic Bruce Springsteen on Broadway Netflix special and one line above all else spoke to me: “We are ghosts or we are ancestors in our own children’s lives.” I scrambled for a piece of paper and a pen, as I have so many times in my relationship with my husband. It used to drive him crazy, when I was struck by a thought, a revolutionary idea, ...
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We are all the bad guy in someone’s story

Don't play victim to circumstances you created.
Accountability is a tough one. It borders that very fine line between victim blaming and owning your own stuff. But it is so, so, so important. We can’t shy away from it simply because it is uncomfortable or confusing. When I went through my divorce, it was easy to point fingers at my ex-husband. He made a lot of rather public mistakes, whereas my mistakes were more private,...
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What are we so afraid of?

What you can't say owns you. What you hide controls you.
Those left behind When someone walks away from a family of origin relationship, it’s so easy to blame them. They must have “issues.” Often, the person they left behind has quite a lot to say about it to explain their absence, and often it makes a lot of sense, especially if the other person doesn’t stick around to explain their side of the story. Would it matter if they tried...
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Speak softly with your heart, and loudly with your vote

Speak softly with your heart and loudly with your vote
Never more than the last few weeks have I pondered how to apply Redefined Love to these painfully divisive times. How do I even deal with it within myself? Certainly I have my own opinions on the matter. Do I speak specifically, or in generalities? I needed time to process. I needed time to take some deep breaths, to separate from my personal feelings and come to a place of...
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