Make Your Own Deal With It List

Deal With It
I was absolutely shocked by the reader response to my post, “Deal With It,” in which I gave a stream of conscious list of who I really am, unfiltered. Thank you to everyone who replied to the post, and to all those who messaged me privately with their own Deal With It lists. I am honored that you trusted me with your whole selves. (If you missed my Deal With It post, you ca...
Read More

Integrity

Every year I pick a word to serve as a mantra, a guidepost to point me in the right direction. Little did I know when I chose the word brave for my 2020 word just how much courage the year would require. For the past few months, I was pretty settled on intentional for my 2021 word. It’s a little overused these days, but only because we as a collective humanity are learn...
Read More

Inciting violence against ourselves

The single most dangerous thing in this country right now is not rioters or gun-toting militia. The most dangerous thing we face is the fear that law-abiding citizens have of those who disagree with us. It is our fear that the extremists on both sides feed on. And suddenly, that fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. That fear becomes our reality. If law-abiding Am...
Read More

All that once was: Life before and life after COVID-19

Stay home
For eight and a half years I wrote a mostly feel good column in a few small town newspapers. And you know what? I was okay at it. People liked it. They looked forward to it. And so did I. I enjoyed making people’s day. I became adept at finding the good in what felt like the darkest of times. But in the last few years, I couldn’t do it. My life got too dark, and so did ...
Read More

None of us deserve a free jerk pass

free jerk pass
I was already struggling with whether to publish this post, before COVID-19. Now I’m even more unsure. It is so heartening to see the amount of good will that is going around, even among people who normally are at each other’s throats. I wish we could bottle this good will and sprinkle it around whenever people start to get caustic again. Because we will – start to get...
Read More

Love is the only way

Love is the only way
If you feel invisible, I see you and I love you. If you are afraid, remember that courage is not the absence of fear, but standing strong against it. You can do it, and I love you. If you are weary, stay strong. You are doing better than you think. And I love you. If you are lonely, here’s a hug and I love you. If you are sad, here’s a tissue and a warm cup of ...
Read More

People crave community: Narrowing the urban/rural divide

We were neighbors before we were enemies
Growing up in the rural West, I can’t tell you how many times I heard jokes about Californians, “city folks,” and “back East,” as though people who lived in Cali or east of the Mississippi River were basically clueless idiots. Then I moved east. Not all the way to the coast, but far enough to learn that people “across the river” were pretty much just like people on the othe...
Read More

Does UC Berkeley really hate rural America?

Red barn
Okay, guys. We need to have a talk. I’ve discussed this before, and really… It’s so important. You’ve got to stop believing everything the Media tells you. This is the first post in a two-part series on narrowing the urban/rural divide, and just being a responsible, rational citizen in general. Certain news outlets... ...are blowing up over a tweet by a UC...
Read More

The death of grace

Perhaps the most detrimental fallout of an entire generation obsessed with perfection is the death of grace.
As my kids gear up for back to school, I can’t help but wonder how they will look back at their childhoods, the time and place in which they were raised, their family experience, and the impact their culture has on their growing hearts and minds. How did we get here? I can’t pretend to be perfect. I actually tried that for a really long time. It didn’t work. Her...
Read More

Do you have a toxic relationship with your news source?

Do you have a toxic relationships with your news source?
In order to understand the big picture of Redefining Love, we must learn that institutions can be just as toxic as individual relationships. Just as family systems can be rife with dysfunction that developed over generations, so too can larger systems within our society. Entire religions, governments, political parties, corporations, education institutions, and sectors...
Read More