Gossip is my weakness

When you stop talking to people, stop talking about them, too.
The tricky thing about gossip is that it’s hard to define. When does genuine caring and concern turn into gossip? What about venting? We all need to get things off our chest, right? Because it is so amorphous, gossip is an easy crime to commit. I know I have. In fact, it’s my biggest vice, or it used to be. I grew up in gossip central. Nobody does gossip lik...
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Not everyone who disagrees with you is evil

Not everyone who disagrees with you is evil.
We are very confused about good and evil. We have been brainwashed by extremists to believe that anyone who disagrees with us is evil. And this isn’t just a liberal problem, or a conservative problem. This is an everyone problem. Both sides do it in equal measure. Here is the truth: NOT EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH YOU IS EVIL. Yes, there is evil in the world. But a ...
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Ghosts or ancestors

We are all ghosts or we are ancestors in our own children's lives.
Recently I was watching the fantastic Bruce Springsteen on Broadway Netflix special and one line above all else spoke to me: “We are ghosts or we are ancestors in our own children’s lives.” I scrambled for a piece of paper and a pen, as I have so many times in my relationship with my husband. It used to drive him crazy, when I was struck by a thought, a revolutionary idea, ...
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We are all the bad guy in someone’s story

Don't play victim to circumstances you created.
Accountability is a tough one. It borders that very fine line between victim blaming and owning your own stuff. But it is so, so, so important. We can’t shy away from it simply because it is uncomfortable or confusing. When I went through my divorce, it was easy to point fingers at my ex-husband. He made a lot of rather public mistakes, whereas my mistakes were more private,...
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Speak softly with your heart, and loudly with your vote

Speak softly with your heart and loudly with your vote
Never more than the last few weeks have I pondered how to apply Redefined Love to these painfully divisive times. How do I even deal with it within myself? Certainly I have my own opinions on the matter. Do I speak specifically, or in generalities? I needed time to process. I needed time to take some deep breaths, to separate from my personal feelings and come to a place of...
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