Dealing with Anger Archives

None of us deserve a free jerk pass

Posted on March 19, 2020March 19, 2020 by Redefining Love

I was already struggling with whether to publish this post, before COVID-19. Now I’m even more unsure. It is so heartening to see the amount of good will that is going around, even among people who normally are at each other’s throats. I wish we could bottle this good will and sprinkle it around whenever people start to get caustic again. Because we will – start to get...

Love is the only way

Posted on February 12, 2020February 12, 2020 by Redefining Love

If you feel invisible, I see you and I love you. If you are afraid, remember that courage is not the absence of fear, but standing strong against it. You can do it, and I love you. If you are weary, stay strong. You are doing better than you think. And I love you. If you are lonely, here’s a hug and I love you. If you are sad, here’s a tissue and a warm cup of ...

Do you have a toxic relationship with your news source?

Posted on August 6, 2019November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

Do you have a toxic relationships with your news source?

In order to understand the big picture of Redefining Love, we must learn that institutions can be just as toxic as individual relationships. Just as family systems can be rife with dysfunction that developed over generations, so too can larger systems within our society. Entire religions, governments, political parties, corporations, education institutions, and sectors...

Eliminating snobbery from our lives

Posted on July 29, 2019November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

Rather than seek to be open minded, a better goal is to dig deep to identify our own bias.

One of the personality traits that I struggle to forgive the most is snobbery, in myself as well as others. I used to live with the illusion that I was immune from this particular sin. (This kind of arrogance is the first sign that you need to get real.) Judgement is the universal sin Back when I bought into the “open-mindedness” myth, I believed that I accepted eve...

The brain’s dashboard

Posted on June 26, 2019November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

Anger, pain, and fear are like the indicator lights on the dashboard of our brains, warning us that something or someone is a threat.

The check engine light on my dashboard is broken. It comes on randomly, then shuts off again whenever the mood strikes it, rendering it useless. The first time it happened, I rushed my car to the mechanic, only to be told that it’s a wiring issue that will cost $800 to fix. My car runs great otherwise, is not very old, and is paid in full. It’s just not worth the expen...

Here’s the point

Posted on June 10, 2019November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

A critical driver of innovation is the capacity to disagree, debate passionately, and explore all sides of an issue without losing respect.

I have tiptoed hesitantly into social media over the years. I have accounts at the big four… Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter. I’m most active on Facebook and Instagram. My Pinterest is okay. My Twitter is embarrassing, honestly. I just can’t seem to master brevity. Imagine that. Even on those platforms that I use most frequently I struggle. I know I coul...

Speak softly with your heart, and loudly with your vote

Posted on October 14, 2018November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

Never more than the last few weeks have I pondered how to apply Redefined Love to these painfully divisive times. How do I even deal with it within myself? Certainly I have my own opinions on the matter. Do I speak specifically, or in generalities? I needed time to process. I needed time to take some deep breaths, to separate from my personal feelings and come to a place of...

Object Lessons

Posted on August 8, 2018November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

Life teaches us lessons every day if we're only willing to look. Redefine Love.

I am not a mom blogger. But I do happen to be in this season of life, so I have a lot of material on the subject right now. I live Redefined Love every day. And I don’t say that in a self-righteous, “I practice what I preach” kind of way. I mean I see it around me, I learn it, I experience it, I am humbled by it. Every. Single. Day. Here is what happened this week… I picke...

Patriotism and Redefined Love

Posted on July 3, 2018November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

I was raised on a steady diet of old-school, flag waving, star spangled patriotism. Ronald Reagan was the president of my childhood. I didn’t know a thing about his politics. I only knew that he had a kind face, an impressive air of dignity when his speeches interrupted our evening TV shows, and that he and his wife wanted me to just say no to drugs. I know a bit more about ...

Loving Myself Through It

Posted on June 25, 2018November 15, 2019 by Redefining Love

My website went live in April, and yet here it is almost July and I’ve only written two blog posts. I wish I could tell you this is a rookie mistake, or that it was too much to expect myself to write consistently every week. Except here’s the thing… For eight and a half years I wrote a weekly column for a few small town newspapers. I rarely missed a deadline. I had a baby on...