How do I redefine love? Archives

Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Posted on January 15, 2021January 15, 2021 by Redefining Love

Phew! Life got heavy again. Was it ever not in the past 12 months? Maybe not. But I got really stuck there for the past week. It just hurt. And I had big things to say. Now it is time for me to reset, because otherwise I will remain submerged in the deep dark, and regardless of how strongly I feel about big, important things, the truly big, important things live under t...

Make Your Own Deal With It List

Posted on January 15, 2021January 15, 2021 by Redefining Love

I was absolutely shocked by the reader response to my post, “Deal With It,” in which I gave a stream of conscious list of who I really am, unfiltered. Thank you to everyone who replied to the post, and to all those who messaged me privately with their own Deal With It lists. I am honored that you trusted me with your whole selves. (If you missed my Deal With It post, you ca...

I said YES: An introvert’s stumble into podcast guesting

Posted on January 3, 2021January 3, 2021 by Redefining Love

Wow, you guys. In all these years of laying myself bare in my writing, this is seriously the most publicly naked I have ever felt. It just so happens that I am expanding my business during a pandemic podcast explosion, when enterprising entrepreneurs are hopping on the airwaves to inform and entertain all of us stuck at home with endless hours of free time. So, it m...

Integrity

Posted on January 2, 2021January 2, 2021 by Redefining Love

Every year I pick a word to serve as a mantra, a guidepost to point me in the right direction. Little did I know when I chose the word brave for my 2020 word just how much courage the year would require. For the past few months, I was pretty settled on intentional for my 2021 word. It’s a little overused these days, but only because we as a collective humanity are learn...

What is the spoon theory and is it really about spoons?

Posted on December 14, 2020December 15, 2020 by Redefining Love

I became familiar with the spoon theory when I became chronically ill. It’s a handy diagnostic tool that helps someone with a long-term illness express in simple terms how much energy they have on any given day. It was developed by Christine Miserandino in 2003, when a friend asked her to describe what it was like to have lupus. She gathered spoons from throughout the ...

Deal with it

Posted on November 13, 2020January 14, 2021 by Redefining Love

There’s this thing called Impostor Syndrome that I only learned about in the past year or so. It’s a mental hitch in your git-along that causes a person to feel inferior to everyone around her, regardless of how much education, training, and experience she has. People who suffer from Impostor Syndrome have no problem pointing out their flaws, and a really hard...

Inciting violence against ourselves

Posted on November 5, 2020December 15, 2020 by Redefining Love

The single most dangerous thing in this country right now is not rioters or gun-toting militia. The most dangerous thing we face is the fear that law-abiding citizens have of those who disagree with us. It is our fear that the extremists on both sides feed on. And suddenly, that fear becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. That fear becomes our reality. If law-abiding Am...

All that once was: Life before and life after COVID-19

Posted on March 31, 2020March 31, 2020 by Redefining Love

For eight and a half years I wrote a mostly feel good column in a few small town newspapers. And you know what? I was okay at it. People liked it. They looked forward to it. And so did I. I enjoyed making people’s day. I became adept at finding the good in what felt like the darkest of times. But in the last few years, I couldn’t do it. My life got too dark, and so did ...

None of us deserve a free jerk pass

Posted on March 19, 2020December 15, 2020 by Redefining Love

I was already struggling with whether to publish this post, before COVID-19. Now I’m even more unsure. It is so heartening to see the amount of good will that is going around, even among people who normally are at each other’s throats. I wish we could bottle this good will and sprinkle it around whenever people start to get caustic again. Because we will – start to get...

Love is the only way

Posted on February 12, 2020December 15, 2020 by Redefining Love

If you feel invisible, I see you and I love you. If you are afraid, remember that courage is not the absence of fear, but standing strong against it. You can do it, and I love you. If you are weary, stay strong. You are doing better than you think. And I love you. If you are lonely, here’s a hug and I love you. If you are sad, here’s a tissue and a warm cup of ...