Trauma tricks us into believing that everything is black and white, right or wrong, us versus them. This is our survival instinct kicking in. When our only options to conflict are fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, we become reactive. This may have worked well in prehistoric times, when our biggest conflict was eat or be […]
Compassion in conflict: Making peace with but/and Read More »
“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”-John Lennon Oh, boy. In the coaching industry I hear these phrases all the time: “Time to move on.” “Don’t look back. Look forward!” “You’re stuck in the past!” “Your future is ahead of you!” All this stuff sounds so encouraging and enticing. Who doesn’t want
The difference between moving on and moving through Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. This is our fourth and final segment of the four-part series titled It’s
Spiritual Abuse and Redefining Love Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. This is our third session in our four-part series It’s Not Personal. Our
Sexual Abuse and Redefining Love Read More »
TRIGGER WARNING:This post contains discussions about mental health that may be upsetting or triggering for trauma survivors. If you are at risk for serious depression, anxiety, emotional instability, or self-harm, consider reading this post in the company of a trusted, trauma-informed supporter. Last week we began our four-part session titled It’s Not Personal. Here’s a
Physical Abuse and Redefining Love Read More »
Most of us can agree that accountability is an important part of being a person of integrity. But how do you determine who is accountable for what? A healthy relationship is one in which both individuals behave with integrity. But what does that mean, really? Integrity is when a person lives their life according to
How do I determine who is accountable for what? Read More »
I’ve been talking with the Friday Zoom crew about covering this topic for a long time, but it seems to always get pushed to the back burner in lieu of other, more urgent topics. As we launch into a new year, and begin our recovery from the busy holiday season, I thought this was
Make your own family Read More »
Last week for our discussion topic I resurrected an old newspaper column I’d written years ago. Although I’d revisited my earlier writings because I had writer’s block, once I got in there, I (re)discovered some of my old thoughts that were the inspiration for Redefining Love. Our discussion last week was so successful that I
Choose your travel companions wisely Read More »
I love quotes. I have been a quote nerd since I was a kid. I used to recopy inspirational sayings from books into a journal, and then reread them over and over when I was sad or needed courage. One of my all-time favorite quotes is: The trees are about to show us how lovely
Years ago, when I first started in therapy, I was faced with what I would consider a typical situation with my family of origin. Promises had been made and then broken, and as usual it knocked the wind out of me. Somehow, even though I had 30 years of experience with these people, I was
What does INTEGRITY really mean? Read More »
